{"id":4797,"date":"2020-01-03T16:03:43","date_gmt":"2020-01-03T22:03:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jessemoynihan.com\/?p=4797"},"modified":"2020-01-04T11:41:10","modified_gmt":"2020-01-04T17:41:10","slug":"2019-resonator","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jessemoynihan.com\/?p=4797","title":{"rendered":"2019 Resonator"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I skipped last year&#8217;s resonator post because I felt like nothing really stuck with me in the world. Mostly I had feelings of wanting to completely withdraw from knowing about anything happening around me besides my inner thoughts and small inspirations. 2019 continued much in this way. I consumed some media, some news and some input from friends. Most of it made me feel like I was looking in the mirror and seeing the things I like least about myself. With the continuing proliferation of memes as our main mode of communication, and the source of many of those memes generating from psyop farms in Russia, it becomes extremely difficult to know who is determining the flow of conversation. I&#8217;m sort of exaggerating but also not really considering the inevitability of convincing deep fakes etc&#8230;\u00a0 as we get further and further away from IRL interactions and analog documentation. Every day is gonna be Kony 2012. What do we care about? Why do we care about it? What is inspiring and is it real? The level of genuine expression is mixing with manipulative branding in a way that makes them almost indecipherable. What was there to get me vibrating at a high level in 2019? Okay let me try to think hard about this and squeeze out a tiny diamond shit.<br \/>\n<strong><br \/>\nONLY INSTAGRAM WORTH FOLLOWING<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Catatonic Youths<\/strong><\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"instagram-media\" style=\"background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);\" data-instgrm-captioned=\"\" data-instgrm-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/B3p8U5OFB9Q\/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading\" data-instgrm-version=\"12\">\n<div style=\"padding: 16px;\">\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<div style=\"display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"padding: 19% 0;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"padding-top: 8px;\">\n<div style=\"color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;\">View this post on Instagram<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"padding: 12.5% 0;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;\"><\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p style=\"margin: 8px 0 0 0; padding: 0 4px;\"><a style=\"color: #000; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/B3p8U5OFB9Q\/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">show me your heart<\/a><\/p>\n<p style=\"color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;\">A post shared by <a style=\"color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/catatonicyouths\/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"> Mike<\/a> (@catatonicyouths) on <time style=\"font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px;\" datetime=\"2019-10-15T22:20:11+00:00\">Oct 15, 2019 at 3:20pm PDT<\/time><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><script async src=\"\/\/www.instagram.com\/embed.js\"><\/script><br \/>\nCatatonic Youths is a hardcore\/emo-centric compilation of the sincere bad taste joyously thriving in the USA. This is a reminder to me that the world is stupid and nuts and will never be rallied into some delusional Fleet Foxes ukulele influencer utopia. It&#8217;s both soul crushing and inspiring at the same time.<\/p>\n<p><strong>BEST MOVIE OF THE YEAR<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>It didn&#8217;t watch many movies this year. I guess Parasite was the best one I saw. It was 40 minutes too long though. Bong Joon-Ho doesn&#8217;t know how to write endings. Anyway it was funny, tense and had some relevant insights into Korean classism relating to Western materialistic ideals.<br \/>\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/5xH0HfJHsaY\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><strong>FAVORITE COMEDIAN OF THE YEAR<br \/>\nMICHAEL LERHER<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/VcnhMGVRzHQ\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>Michael was an improv comedian at Second City in Chicago. A few years ago he was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig&#8217;s disease and his body has deteriorated significantly since. Unable to perform physically anymore, he switched his focus to stand up comedy and has been making appearances on the roast-centric show Kill Tony. It seems like he only has about 10 minutes of material so far, but he&#8217;s quick on the mike and able to work the room with both the shock of his condition and his aggressive showmanship. I&#8217;m not sure how far he can take his act, but I&#8217;m hoping he gets a huge bump in 2020.<\/p>\n<p><strong>MUSIC I LISTENED TO THIS YEAR<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I didn&#8217;t invest in branching out musically this year. I&#8217;m still just listening through Glenn Branca&#8217;s catalog. When I&#8217;m not listening to Glenn Branca, I&#8217;m pretty much just listening to MF Doom.<\/p>\n<p>My buddy Alex turned me onto this super obscure dude <strong>William Austin Clay<\/strong> who has like 112 subscribers on youtube.<br \/>\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/7PpWppsABGY\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><br \/>\nIt&#8217;s pretty much the only thing that stuck out to me this year, besides maybe that band Palm from Philly. This track in particular sounds like Tipographica meets uhhh something else but I can&#8217;t put my finger on it. I love the way he jams out like he&#8217;s living in his own dimension of &#8220;feeling it&#8221;. His aesthetics are like your dad meets PM Dawn or something. Check him out!<\/p>\n<p>I did get super hyped for the first time on Inspectah Deck&#8217;s first solo effort Uncontrolled Substance which came out in 1999 after multiple delays, causing it to lose potential hype. I like this album more than Liquid Swords. This track in particular rips HARD! Try listening to it while walking down the street and not getting hyped about getting brunch.<br \/>\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/8qJu74AVIn0\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><strong>JIU JITSU HERO OF THE YEAR<br \/>\nLACHLAN GILES<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I won&#8217;t bore y&#8217;all with too much of my jiu jitsu obsession. I&#8217;ll just say that Lachlan was the giant killer this year; beating brackets of dudes with 50-80+lbs on him by tearing their knees with heel hooks. He&#8217;s the current proof that jiu jitsu is made for the little guy to beat the big guy. It&#8217;s inspirational especially to me since we are basically in the same weight bracket. There&#8217;s no footage available of his ADCC Open Weight matches because it&#8217;s locked behind an expensive paywall on flograpling so here&#8217;s an interview right after his wins.<br \/>\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/Okd0uy0ghEw\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><br \/>\nI took a seminar with him a few weeks ago. Wish I could train with him in Australia, but I&#8217;m a 41 year old cartoonist and that would be a bad idea for my career haha.<\/p>\n<p><strong>BIGGEST PERSONAL BREAKTHROUGH I HAD THIS YEAR<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>In terms of personal revelations I had some major breakthroughs in how I relate to the people closest to me and how that changes the way I see my past relationships. Most of it revolves around my discomfort in giving people compliments and my general lack of compassion for what I perceive as human weakness (emotional reasoning). Through extensive therapy I&#8217;ve been able to crack into my fear of expressing compassion and I&#8217;ve been making some small gains (to the relief of my girlfriend). Trying to explain how I became a robot would take 50 pages or so, but to sum it up I believe that if you&#8217;re confronted with an emotional obstacle and it makes you paralyzed with fear, then it&#8217;s imperative to explore that fear. To allow yourself to stagnate is true weakness. So through gritted teeth I&#8217;ve been forcing myself to give tiny, unwarranted compliments to people when I remember. And when someone expresses irrational fears or emotions, I allow them to own it without trying to mold them into my image of correct mindset. At least that&#8217;s what I&#8217;m trying to do. This revelation has a rippling effect on how I perceive my past and the messages I received about my &#8220;coldness&#8221;. Jesse the ice man.<br \/>\nThis will probably be a long imperfect journey I travel for the rest of my life, but at least I feel like I have a major handle on what happened with many of my past relationships, including some close friendships.<\/p>\n<p>BEST VIDEO GAME I PLAYED THIS YEAR<\/p>\n<p>I think I played this in 2019? Well if I played it in 2018 I didn&#8217;t talk about it here. Anyway this is my favorite kind of game: Walk into a room and die over and over until you nail the razor tight mechanics. When you nail it, you feel extremely satisfied. I played a lot of this game in front of my friend&#8217;s kids. They would scream and cheer when I came close to beating a room. The story is also good and keeps you invested in Celeste&#8217;s emotional journey. The character designs are pretty shit but that&#8217;s forgivable because the sprites look good. Anyway, it&#8217;s better than Destiny 2 which yes I am still playing with a group of metal dudes in Seattle.<br \/>\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/qHLizp8fARo\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><strong>BEST TV SHOW OF THE YEAR<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>The Righteous Gemstones had its comedic and poetic moments, with great performances &#8211; especially coming from Tony Cavalero who plays Keefe on the show.<br \/>\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/BSdglnt2ABU\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><br \/>\nIt also had its dips in quality &#8211; unable to keep the momentum of that first dynamite episode. Still, it was a worthwhile watch coming from Danny McBride&#8217;s super team of actors and directors.<br \/>\nI&#8217;d say the tightest show that delivered on laughs and character moments was probably Silicon Valley. Late in the game I&#8217;m still getting through the latest season of Terrace House OH YEAHHHHHHH!<br \/>\nFor some reason I couldn&#8217;t bring myself to care about watching the second season of Dark, or the Dark Crystal, or the Marvelous Mrs Maisel, or His Dark Materials, or Watchmen, or the Mandalorian. I&#8217;m not going to sub to Disney+ for one show. Anyway to me, the only show that has truly mattered in the past 5 years is Season 3 of Twin Peaks. Everything else has felt like fleeting moments, with the exception of a couple episodes of Eastbound and Down that really stuck in my cinematic memory banks.<br \/>\nIf you haven&#8217;t seen the 3rd season of Twin Peaks then don&#8217;t watch the next clip. If you haven&#8217;t seen episode 8 then you&#8217;re missing out on possibly the greatest episode in TV history.<br \/>\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/4IKUeIEdRMY\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I skipped last year&#8217;s resonator post because I felt like nothing really stuck with me in the world. Mostly I had feelings of wanting to completely withdraw from knowing about anything happening around me besides my inner thoughts and small inspirations. 2019 continued much in this way. I consumed some media, some news and some [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[13],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jessemoynihan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4797"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jessemoynihan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jessemoynihan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jessemoynihan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jessemoynihan.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4797"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/jessemoynihan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4797\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4810,"href":"https:\/\/jessemoynihan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4797\/revisions\/4810"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jessemoynihan.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4797"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jessemoynihan.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4797"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jessemoynihan.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4797"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}