{"id":3782,"date":"2016-12-13T18:15:31","date_gmt":"2016-12-14T00:15:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jessemoynihan.com\/?p=3782"},"modified":"2016-12-13T18:30:40","modified_gmt":"2016-12-14T00:30:40","slug":"apams-crowd-control-vehicle","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/jessemoynihan.com\/?p=3782","title":{"rendered":"Apam&#8217;s Crowd Control Vehicle"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/jessemoynihan.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/IMG_3570.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"http:\/\/jessemoynihan.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/IMG_3570.jpg\" alt=\"img_3570\" width=\"620\" height=\"827\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-3783\" srcset=\"http:\/\/jessemoynihan.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/IMG_3570.jpg 620w, http:\/\/jessemoynihan.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/IMG_3570-225x300.jpg 225w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 620px) 100vw, 620px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Spent the day figuring out Apam&#8217;s vehicle and his personal slave servant Tamas. Gonna start on the actual next page today hopefully. <\/p>\n<p>Jiu Jitsu Talk: <\/p>\n<p>This past Sunday I participated in my first small local jiu jitsu tournament. I hadn&#8217;t done anything like this since 9th grade when I was on the wrestling team of my high school. It was very different for me this time, 20+ years later. <\/p>\n<p>I participated in the 165 lbs division, and weighed in around 160. Waiting all day took a toll on my nerves and by the time it was getting close to my turn to fight, I had basically adrenaline dumped half of my strength. I did some last minute pranayama meditating which helped me get my nerves back.<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/uDLfmxs-LuE\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>All of these guys in my weight class looked freaking huge. I walked out on the mat and found myself face to face with a dude who had his girlfriend&#8217;s name tattooed on his face (above his eyebrow) and who had arms twice the size of mine. In that moment I thought to myself &#8220;What the fuck am I doing here??&#8221; but I also realized that I couldn&#8217;t leave and the only thing I could do was believe I could beat him. When we locked up I could feel his mass and strength but I was able to shove him off which gave me confidence that I could hang in there. We locked up several times and then I pulled a stupid attempt at a takedown that basically put me at a disadvantage for the rest of the match. I fought from the bottom from then on, with a few close attempts at escaping. I lost the match, could barely remember any of my techniques and felt like I was fighting through mud. Have you ever had one of those nightmares where you have to fight someone but your arms are moving in slow motion? It was like that. But I also learned that I could fight through all that psychological weight and rely on my heart to survive against what felt like a gorilla trying to kill me. <\/p>\n<p>My next match I won, but it was still the same feeling of willpower overcoming intense insecurity. Even when I was in a position of dominance I still couldn&#8217;t really believe what was happening. I blanked out on techniques all over the place but somehow came out on top. The thing I&#8217;m trying to get at, was the place my mind had to switch into; this deep primal belief that I was a fighter, or a caveman or something. It was such a powerful feeling that when I tried to describe it to my coach afterwards I felt like I might start crying out of joy. Of course anyone who knows me well, knows how emotional I can get about this sort of revelation. <\/p>\n<p>After the tournament, the guy with the facial tattoo came up to me and thanked me for the match. I thanked him as well, for the amazing thing he taught me about being a 38 year old cartoonist trying to learn how to fight. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Spent the day figuring out Apam&#8217;s vehicle and his personal slave servant Tamas. Gonna start on the actual next page today hopefully. Jiu Jitsu Talk: This past Sunday I participated in my first small local jiu jitsu tournament. I hadn&#8217;t done anything like this since 9th grade when I was on the wrestling team of [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[13],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/jessemoynihan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3782"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/jessemoynihan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/jessemoynihan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/jessemoynihan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/jessemoynihan.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3782"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/jessemoynihan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3782\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3785,"href":"http:\/\/jessemoynihan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3782\/revisions\/3785"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/jessemoynihan.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3782"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/jessemoynihan.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3782"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/jessemoynihan.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3782"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}