Here’s a Livejournal-type diary entry I wrote back in January:<\/p>\n
I was just talking to a current art resident here in Angouleme, Giulia Sagramola about our past heartbreaks and trying to negotiate relationships with artistic ambition. <\/p>\n
I was describing this idea that when you are with someone you really love for a long time and then you break up, it’s hopeless to try and shut out their memory. The best you can do is accept that the memory will always have some measure of pain, and you will not be able to change it into a good feeling. The unyielding reality of a broken relationship won’t somehow be repaired through magic or anger or self loathing or whatever else. Once you accept that, then that pain becomes a part of the tapestry of your full life, rather than an adversary. <\/p>\n
Still, sometimes I have a thought contrary to this. I never express it out loud, because maybe in the wrong company it would make me sound like a dumb-ass. But one day I was sitting around with my brother… He was lamenting the impossible situation of letting someone go because you care about them, or any love situation that requires inevitable loss. I asked him, “Do you ever think that if you made the greatest work of art, the power and beauty of your expression would convince your ex to get back together with you? Or heal the wound of what went wrong?”<\/p>\n
He answered me something like, “Yes of course, this is what I’m trying to do with everything I create. And every time it doesn’t work!” <\/p>\n