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<\/a><\/p>\nI almost decided to edit myself and skip this page. After glancing at this and the next page it seemed totally unnecessary to Noah’s process. I meditated on it for a day and decided to try improvising a new composition and adding new thematic elements to the fairly simple and underdeveloped ideas going on in the original. It seemed like maybe inefficient storytelling, but also a possible opportunity to mess around and have fun discovering something. It’s almost 3AM here in France. I’ve been having a really hard time falling asleep for the past two weeks. I’m not sure why. I’m probably missing LA a bit and I’m subconsciously trying to get back to the LA time zone maybe. <\/p>\n
ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS:<\/p>\n
It’s now 3:47AM but before I go to sleep I feel like jotting a few additional observations about my residency here. <\/p>\n
What’s happening to me here is a really interesting experiment. What’s becoming very clear is that I’m two people. <\/p>\n
One part of me, in my normal everyday LA life is always struggling to find isolation: a place where I have no responsibility toward other people or the greater world. In this place I get to indulge my patterns without interruption. I wake up, eat, read and draw. No one enters my zone or demands I contend with their psychic space. In this place I feel like I move with incredible efficiency. I feel unencumbered by the expectations of my friends, girlfriends, family, work-relations, art events, English speakers… basically anyone or thing that could possibly slow me down or cause me to reconfigure my daily plan of making shit immediately. In LA I never get to have this fully. I try very hard to achieve this, but even on the days when I speak to no one, I can feel my obligation toward others hanging over my head. So that creates a tension that I often resent. <\/p>\n
At the same time, when I’m pulled away from the drive toward isolation and productivity, by friend or family or whatever, I feel a deep relief, similar to maybe the feeling of waking up from a restful sleep. I’m grateful for the people in my life who choose to include me in tolerable time-frames of a few hours here and there or even a day or two on a trip to the mountains. <\/p>\n
For the past month + 1\/2 I haven’t had this pull coming from anywhere. Most of my socializing is just some brief chit-chat while waiting for coffee to brew on the second floor of the building I’m in. Everyone here is super nice\/cool and working toward common goals, which is comforting. But with the exception of a few holiday parties, most of my days are spent talking to no one for more than a few minutes. For the most part I find my situation super thrilling, but I know it’s a state of being that I wouldn’t be able to sustain forever. 2 + 1\/2 months is probably all I can handle before I start feeling crazy. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Here’s my original thumbnail for ep 215 of Forming. I almost decided to edit myself and skip this page. After glancing at this and the next page it seemed totally unnecessary to Noah’s process. I meditated on it for a day and decided to try improvising a new composition and adding new thematic elements to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[13],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/jessemoynihan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3195"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/jessemoynihan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/jessemoynihan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/jessemoynihan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/jessemoynihan.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3195"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/jessemoynihan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3195\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3200,"href":"http:\/\/jessemoynihan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3195\/revisions\/3200"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/jessemoynihan.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3195"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/jessemoynihan.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3195"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/jessemoynihan.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3195"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}